Finished Splinter Cell: Blacklist!

In typical Kyle van Rensburg fashion, I finished my newest game after only playing it for three days.

The good news is that I'll have a review up in time for this Wednesday. My thoughts about the game, and the content verdict, will be included.

So yeah, I hope you enjoy that!

Weekly Milestones:

Alan Wake: I'm about a third through the walkthrough of the game. The Areas of Concern will be finished after I post my Splinter Cell: Blacklist Review.

Splinter Cell Blacklist: See post above.

Saints Row IV: Areas of Concern will begin after I finish up Alan Wake's Areas of Concern.

The Bureau XCOM Declassified: Low priority. Probably won't get an Areas of Concern due to poor review scores. (We have to keep our focus on games people will actually play.)

Blog: A few minor changes are inbound, mostly aesthetic, and the other change will be revealed this week. Stay tuned.

Kyle van Rensburg: Arms are stiff from a good workout, hehe.

I'm enjoying Splinter Cell: Blacklist. The best instalment in the franchise since Chaos Theory. I like the fact that it mixes the best elements from the aforementioned Chaos Theory and Conviction.

Looking forward to the summer season, which will see the release of several blockbuster games. It's going to be a busy time for the blog......

Splinter Cell: Blacklist!

Hello everybody!

Apologies for a lack of an article today. Let's just say that your Christian game reviewer has taken it upon himself to actually play some games. :P

First of which is the newly downloaded Dead Space 3. (Legally downloaded, for your information.....)

It's actually very fun and entertaining, and not excessively scary too. The big downside is the fact that the game doesn't exactly agree with Windows 8. (Almost nothing does.)

Thankfully, playing the game in windowed mode and disabling AVG seemed to have done the trick. Let's hope it stays that way.

And now for the big news! Today I received my copy of Splinter Cell: Blacklist. I unfortunately could not acquire a review copy, so the actual Areas of Concern and Review of Game is going to take a few days, hopefully it will be done by next week.

Which means that my Alan Wake Areas of Concern is going to be put on hold, at least for this week.

I'm also going to be recording my blind playthrough of Splinter Cell: Blacklist, so I hope you guys enjoy that. :)

EDIT: Scratch that. A blind playthrough doesn't work so well. I'll have a video walkthrough up in the next few weeks though, so stay tuned!

GTA V: To Do, or not to Do?

CLICK HERE FOR THE GRAND THEFT AUTO V AREAS OF CONCERN!

Well, the ESRB released their rating for Grand Theft Auto V today. Let's just say it's not a game I'd like to own by any means.

Does that mean you're not getting a review? Uh, no. I think an Areas of Concern is not out of the question at all. If the content is as graphic as the ESRB rating summary lines out, it's already a ban.

But you know me, I give games a chance regardless of that. Here's the summary: (WARNING: Graphic.)

"In this open-world action game, players assume the role of three criminals whose storylines intersect within the fictional city of Los Santos. Players can switch between each character to follow his storyline, completing missions which often include criminal activities (e.g., stealing cars, executing heists, assassinating targets). Players use pistols, machine guns, sniper rifles, and explosives to kill various enemies (e.g., rival gang members); players also have the ability to shoot non-adversary civilians, though this may negatively affect players' progress as a penalty system triggers a broad police search. Blood-splatter effects occur frequently, and the game contains rare depictions of dismemberment. In one sequence, players are directed to use various instruments and means to extract information from a character; the sequence is intense and prolonged, and it involves some player interaction (i.e., responding to on-screen prompts). The game includes depictions of sexual material/activity: implied fellatio and masturbation; various sex acts that the player's character procures from a prostitute—while no nudity is depicted in these sequences, various sexual moaning sounds can be heard. Nudity is present, however, primarily in two settings: a topless lap dance in a strip club and a location that includes male cult members with exposed genitalia in a non-sexual context. Within the game, TV programs and radio ads contain instances of mature humor: myriad sex jokes; depictions of raw sewage and feces on a worker's body; a brief instance of necrophilia (no nudity is depicted). Some sequences within the larger game allow players to use narcotics (e.g., smoking from a bong, lighting a marijuana joint); cocaine use is also depicted. Players' character can, at various times, consume alcohol and drive while under the influence. The words “f**k,” “c*nt,” and “n**ger” can be heard in the dialogue."

.....You can kinda see why I don't want the game, right?

And this is where an Areas of Concern is much better in my mind, because nudity will be censored out and I don't actually bring the game into my home.

So yes, Grand Theft Auto V will get an Areas of Concern, that's for sure, (Provided the walkthroughs don't get taken down.) but a full review is out of the question for me.

Unless somebody gifts me the game, of course.

Saints Row: The Third Areas of Concern

Well, they ain't no Saints, that's for sure......

WARNING: This review contains Mature Subject Matter. PARENTAL GUIDANCE ADVISED. 

Home - Reviewing Style - Conclusion

Intro:

A bunch of gangsters in purple decide it's time to cause havoc in a city, and get mad when people start to complain....

Release Date: November 2011.

Platforms: Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC.

Publisher: THQ. (Rest in piece!)

Developer: Volition, Inc.

Areas of Concern:

Violence:

Mild Moderate Heavy Very Heavy Extreme Ban-worthy

General Violence:

--Several people are shot: Blood sprays out, staining the environment and splotches of blood are shown on the victims; they spasm in pain and screams are heard.

You can also take people hostage and use them as human shields, with blood spraying when they get hit.

--Hand-to-hand combat is depicted: Several kicks and punches are shown, with blows to the head, abdomen, groin, and so on, all with blood spurting and cries of pain. Some blows are shown in slow-motion. 

--You obtain a chainsaw and can use it to kill your enemies: Your character hacks viciously, with blood bursting out and staining the environment with bloody chunks of flesh spraying everywhere.

-You can brandish blunt and sharp objects to fend off foes with; blood spurts out and cries of pain are heard.

--You can use vehicles to run over people; they are sent flying, and blood splatters all over the environment. Vehicles can also be destroyed, sending anyone nearby flying and wreckage is strewn across the environment.

--You can throw grenades or shoot explosive projectiles, sending enemies flying with explosions being shown. You can shove a grenade into a giant enemy's mouth, and it explodes, blowing his head off with blood spurting.

Your character can also shoot the giant in the head several times, resulting in his head being blown off as well.

-You can use a "Sonic Boom" weapon to shoot objects and enemies; when enemies are shot, they explode into bloody chunks, staining the environment. 

Storyline Violence: 

--The game opens with a man getting punched and kicked by a gang, blood spurting out of his mouth. He then proceeds to kick and punch them, sending the gang members flying.

--A man is stabbed through the stomach with a giant stalagmite, with blood bursting out. 

--A man is stabbed in the stomach and his head is shoved through an airplane window. His attacker throws a knife at one of his henchman, hitting him in the head. Blood is shown.

--A woman is grabbed by a giant man, and her neck is snapped with a crack being heard.

--There are several sequences where explosions go off, destroying the environment, and strewing wreckage everywhere.

--One mission has your character throwing himself into traffic in order to damage cars, with blood splattering all over the environment as he comically bounces around.

Sex/Nudity:

Mild Moderate Heavy Very Heavy Extreme Ban-worthy

--During the course of the game, we see several scantily clad women showing buttocks and cleavage. Some of the women wear only scant bras, pasties and g-strings.

--The game features a weapon called "The Penetrator", a purple dildo on a stick which you can use to slap enemies around with.

--One mission has you picking up a woman who engages in sexual activity with a female prostitute in the back of your car.

(Apologies if this is a bit graphic.)

Some suggestive lines are uttered, like: "Doesn't your tongue get tired", "It's double-headed. And it vibrates!", "I didn't know that felt good. Do that to me again!", "Wow, you got me wet all over!", and so on.

-At one point, we see a woman in a thong straddling a man with the camera lingering, but they are interrupted. Later on in the game, a man smokes a cigarette whilst reclining, and we see several scantily clad women lying around him, asleep, obviously after "he had his way" with them.

-You are tasked with helping a man get his "trade on". (Sex trafficking) by picking up prostitutes and delivering them to the aforementioned pimp.

--A mission takes place in a BDSM club: We see several people dressed in leather and the typical costumes, we hear the sounds of people being whipped and a man responds enthusiastically to getting interrogated. A television in this place also shows a naked woman with rear nudity being shown. 

A man makes a remark about his hands being on the floor and they were "a bit sticky".

--You can customise your character's appearance: You can make them go naked, but all the sensitive parts are "pixelated" (Censored). You can also put clothes from both genders on your character, making them cross-dress. 

-At one point, a giant enemy is shown naked, with pixellation to cover his genitals, but you can see his buttocks in full view for an extended time. The man says he can help your gang, but one team member remarks: "The last time a big naked dude said he could help me, it didn't end well...."

--Blow-up dolls are featured in the game as collectables.

Language:

Mild Moderate Heavy Very Heavy Extreme Ban-worthy

Very Frequent Uses of F**k, S**t, P**sy, Wh**e, D**k, Pr**k, A*s, P**s, B**ch, H**l, and D**n.

Racial Slurs: The song "Power" by Kanye West is featured in the game, and features uses of N***er.

--God and Jesus' names are used in vain.

Spiritual Content: 

Mild Moderate Heavy Very Heavy Extreme Ban-worthy

--Symbols:

-Fleur-de-lis. (Roman Catholic Symbol)

-Five point star. (Pentagram: Commonly associated with Satanism)

-Skull. (Death)

-Black and white checkerboard floor. (Freemason Symbol.)

--In a virtual world, a man's "avatar" is that of an angel winged beast and he remarks that he is "God". 

Drugs/Alcohol/Smoking:

Mild Moderate Heavy Very Heavy Extreme Ban-worthy 

--A woman mentions that she was "really high" the last time she was in a particular city, and she talks about "scoring weed".

--A scene takes place in a bar, and we see some people drinking. Later on, we hear a man talking drunkenly in a phone conversation.

--A man smokes a cigarette. 

Gross Stuff/Crude Humour:

--A man jokes that his gang traded their "D***s in for p***ies."

--A woman sarcastically remarks that two men should put in their "tampons" and keep moving.

--You earn points for hitting enemies in their "peculiars". These are referred to as "Nut Shots" and "Testicular Manslaughter".

--At one point during the story, zombies are featured. (Yes, zombies....In Saints Row The Third. This is not a typo.) They are covered with blood and have pale skin.

--You can throw a bottle of "Fart in a Jar" at enemies, which stuns them and flatulence noises can be heard. 

Morality:

Abysmal Bad So-so Okay Good Very Good

Not very good. Whilst the game is cartoonish and darkly humourous, you are playing as a remorseless criminal and the game glorifies a life of crime. 

Themes:

-Life of crime/gangs: Obviously a major theme in the game. Life in a gang is portrayed to be "Cool" and "Superawesomefantasticular", if you catch my drift, dawg. (Urgh, I'm never saying that again.....)

-Glorification of Violence: Not to sound like a "Moral Guardian" but this game clearly promotes violence as an effective problem solver. May be justified by the fact that it's a parody.

-Human cloning: This makes a brief appearance in the game, but beyond your team members making some disgusted remarks about the idea, this is fairly superficial.

-Martial Law/Ratting Out Your Neighbours: The game seems to poke fun at American paranoia by joking about people spying on their neighbours, reporting them to the police, and so on. A bit too specific to be coincidental.

Thoughts & Impressions:

I'll keep this brief, as this is an Areas of Concern and not a review.

Saints Row The Third contains numerous funny jokes, entertaining sequences and it looks to be quite a joy to play. The story is weak, but that doesn't matter anyways because it doesn't need one to begin with.

But does the entertainment of the game justify it's content? Eh.....

Conclusion:

The biggest concern about the game is the frequent sexual references and off-screen sexual content, which is far too graphic for me to recommend this in a good conscience.

In fact, I was going to give this a Not Recommended, but after some consideration, is there anything really "good" in this game? Well, I honestly can't say for 100% sure, but it doesn't seem like it at all.

The walkthrough I watched was conclusive enough. I don't see any benefit for a Christian to play this game, and that's why this game is:

Verdict:

BANNED (X)

For Graphic Sexual References and Content.

Outro:

So there you go. This AOC was requested, and so I hope that whoever requested is pleased with the end result. Please tell if you need more detail, and I may look at buying the game and 100 percent-ing the Areas of Concern for you.

Until next time!

Writer Bio:

Kyle van Rensburg is the Editor-in-Chief of Kyle's Christian Video Game Reviews. (KGR) He likes cookies.

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REVIEWS INBOUND!

Hello everybody! I know it's been a long time since I posted an Areas of Concern or a Review, but this month, things are about to change.

Wednesday will see my Saints Row The Third Areas of Concern being posted, Friday will have another article, about whatever comes to mind, and the spaces in between will probably be bridged with small posts informing you of what's going on in my life or gaming adventures.

Splinter Cell: Blacklist will definitely be reviewed this month, so tune in next week for the review! (If all goes well.)

Oh, and by the way, September 1st is an important date for my YouTube Channel, as it will see a LONG overdue playthrough being posted.

Tune in then, and subscribe while you're at it, since there's a lot more to come in the future.

So there you go, the blog is about to get busy again, and I hope you enjoy the ride!

WEEKLY MILESTONES:

Saints Row The Third: Areas of Concern finished. Scheduled for Wednesday. Some editing required but I will do that before it goes up.

Alan Wake: Areas of Concern started. Should be done by next week as possible filler in the very unlikely chance that my Splinter Cell: Blacklist Review is not up then.

Splinter Cell: Blacklist: Last minute pre-order about to happen.

Other: Recently acquired several games, included the previously AOCed Dead Space 3, and Guest Reviewed, The Sims 3. The former will most likely get a ReMix Review sometime.

Kyle van Rensburg: My week away from home went pretty well, even if I felt like dying on the spot after I was done. It was immensely hard work, but at least I got the money I desperately needed for Splinter Cell: Blacklist.

I've been enjoying The Sims 3, which is very finicky on Windows 8. (Which programs are not?) Burnout Paradise: The Ultimate Box is also another fun game that will keep me busy. A Review is unlikely for the latter, but who knows? Maybe I'll make one.

My fiction writing is also going well. I just took a bit of a break and ideas have been flooding in like crazy. I pray that it will be one of the best stories you've seen in recent years. Jesus give me the strength, but I will try my best. 

Oh, and by the way? Hot Fuzz is epically funny. Just watch out for the content though, some misuses of Jesus' name and several F-bombs. The gore.........is too over-the-top to really take seriously.

My Steam Game Collection

Just for interest's sake, this is what my Steam Game Library looks like at the moment:

Pretty cool, huh? I recently acquired a few of the games through the Humble Origin Bundle sale, for about 5 bucks.

I got about 8 games for $5. Not bad, eh?

Feel free to post a screenshot of your own Steam/Origin collection below in the comments.....

My Thoughts On: Watch Dogs

I'll tell you one thing: Words cannot describe how excited I am for this game.

It. Is. Jaw. Droppingly. Beautiful!

My Thoughts:

When I first saw the announcement trailer of Watch Dogs, I was very sceptical. Whilst the game promised a huge interactive open world, I was concerned that it was more of a tech demo showing off it's awesome, realistic graphics than anything else.

Now, after much more footage was shown, I'm happy to say that my concerns were baseless. This game looks to be one of the most refreshing and engaging open world experiences of 2013. 

Watch Dogs follows the story of Aiden Pierce, a gritty vigilante who is somehow tossed into the story after the lives of his family is threatened.

Now, he has to fight crime and be a vigilante.....and stuff.

My Concerns:

There's a lot that can go wrong.

1. Firstly, the game can get lost in all it's wondrous beauty and wide open world to the point of completely losing focus of it's story, which I heard is based around "They threatened my family. So I ate theirs!" or something like that.

2. Secondly, the game might pull an Assassin's Creed 3 and spend way too much time building up the story instead of developing it on the fly.

3. The game is a buggy and glitchy mess, which is not too far fetched considering Ubisoft's history with broken games. (I'm looking at you, Splinter Cell: Double Agent!)

4. It turns out to be a great game, but it features sensationalized depictions of sex and nudity, and a huge amount of strong language. Both seem to be definite possibilities, but here's hoping that my concerns are allayed.

My Hopes:

1. That the game won't have sensationalized depictions of sex and nudity, and much strong language. Oh, and it must be a good game.

2. The open world is really as interactive as it seems, and that you can upgrade HOW interactive it is as the story progresses.

3. Not too much hand holding, and multiple ways of accomplishing a mission objective.

4. An actual engaging story filled with three-dimensional characters, or just interesting characters for that matter. And an ending worth a darn.

5. A New Game Plus mode, or the ability to keep free-roaming in the game after the story is finished, like Assassin's Creed and Mass Effect 2.

6. No multiplayer for once, please? Or one that lives up to the (hopefully) stellar singleplayer.

In Conclusion:

Watch Dogs looks to be the next great open world game, and one that may provide us with a stellar narrative and smart gameplay, with tolerable content.

Here's hoping that our wishes come true.

Another Quick Update

In order to get reviews back on schedule, the Saints Row The Third Areas of Concern will be posted on Wednesday.

Thank you for your patience.

I'm back!

Back in business! I'm back from a work trip, a few bucks richer, and I'm excited to start reviewing again. 

Coming up: Saints Row The Third Areas of Concern. It should be up on Friday if I miss Wednesday....

See you guys then! :)

Areas of Concern =/= Reviews

Hello everybody, I'd like to clarify something which unfortunately became a blog tradition when I hoped it wouldn't.

Areas of Concern are rundowns of a select game's content WITHOUT me playing the actual game. This is not to say I'm guessing the content. Quiet the contrary, I watch video walkthroughs, do research on parental sites, and try to find out all there is about a game, the way I usually did when I was simply interested in buying games for myself.

Reviews are where I play the whole game AND give you a content rundown. This is the best way to do it, but I had to settle on the former for one simple reason:

Lack of money.

Unfortunately, we are a bit low on funds and had to settle on the easiest way to provide accurate content rundowns without actually playing the game.

Now some of you may say: "Kyle, why not just download the game? You can delete it when you're done and then it's all good, right?"

Eh, I still struggle with the morality of doing something like that, and it just takes waayyyyyyyyy too long. And for a console only release like The Last of Us and Grand Theft Auto V, it would have been incredibly difficult to find a "pirate" copy.

And I don't want to support piracy more than PC gamers already have. But if I could find some way to play the game without shelling out cash, and it's not illegal, I would. Believe me I would.

If you feel like donating a game, that would be a huge blessing and it would help out a lot.

In any case, I wanted to clarify this little difference for you guys. This was something I had to settle on in order to get you accurate content assessments in spite of not having the money. 

I hope you all have a good day. :)